Friends

I don't even know where to begin or. What to say or what to do. No matter where I am, no matter what my life is doing, I end up feeling fucked up and trapped. Every single time, I could just swear I have never felt more messed up than I do then, and this time is no different.

I am being parented by people who are not my parents, and parented far more severely than I ever was by my actual mother.

I even mention spending a week or so with my dad's sister and her husband and I get the most horrible scolding about job shit. Fuck. God forbid I want to spend some fucking time with family that isn't going to be riding my ass every day. God fucking forbid I do one wrong thing that you just. Let go. Instead of verbally shaking a correction into me.

I wish I could be naked more often. I wish I could make myself cry. I wish this computer handled drawing better. I wish I had a car. I wish there was a place within walking distance where I could go and just sit and be alone. I wish I had a room to myself where I could just lay in bed and not do anything. I wish I had someone here to comfort me. I wish I wish I fucking wish.
Basically, I wish I had more ways to get rid of stress.

I had a dream I had a daughter.

I found a cockroach crawling out of my bed the other morning when I woke up.

Yesterday when it rained, I went out to the back yard to look at the creek all full of water and to get rained on. And as I was standing there with my feet bare in the grass, I looked down and saw something very small. So I bent over to look. It was tiny and grey, and I thought maybe it was some sort of fly, but it was smaller than a fly, so small. Finally I realized, it was a tiny, tiny frog, and I gasped with delight. I felt as though it was a gift to me, to see such a wonderful thing. Then I noticed a spider on my toe, so I decided it was time to go back inside.

Sometimes I wish I could understand if I'm actually pretty fucked up or if I'm just sort of fucked up or maybe if I'm not even fucked up at all.

Hey everyone. I just joined and I have a rather strange request.

I have been looking for a particular stuffed animal for years and years, and I thought I'd start on the internet. Just doing a regular search hasn't helped me.

For Easter of 1988, my grandmother bought me a small stuffed duck from Roses department store. I became attached to it instantly, and I've had it close to me ever since. After 20 years, it has become very worn. The tag is completely worn off, so I have no idea who made it. We tried calling the Roses headquarters a few years ago, but nothing came of it.

So here's the challenge. I have a picture of the duck when it was still new. I would love dearly to find another duck like mine. If anyone can help me, I would appreciate more than you can know. I just want to know where I can find another one to buy.

( and here's my duck! )

Also, if this kind of thing isn't appropriate for this community, can anyone direct me anywhere else where I can post my inquiry?

Thanks so much everyone!

Since I was kinda quiet about the latest controversies in the publishing world thanks to getting ready for my big NYC trip, I might as well weigh in on this one.

First, in case you haven't seen yet, there are a lot of posts on this subject already, including samhenderson's, ogre_san's, cristalia's and, of course, Michael Cisco's. There are others, but this should give you a good background as to what's going on.

Unlike a lot of my friends and colleagues my own association with this press is limited. I have published a poem in each of Prime's Jabberwocky anthologies and one story in the two print issues of Cabinet des Fees. Although I've sometimes had to nudge a bit for payment, I've always received it promptly when asking. And considering how often I need to be nudged sometimes (a huge fault of mine, and one I'm working on correcting) I don't count this against them.

As I have not published a collection or longer work with Prime, that's about all I can say on the subject. I have been quite pleased with the quality of the anthologies in which my work has appeared as well.

Ultimately, I love the work that Prime publishes, and love the authors who work more extensively with them. And being the kind of person I am, I really do hope that this controversy works out as well as it possibly can for everyone involved.

This was probably quite boring, but I wanted to say it because I'm sure a few people were wondering.

Dangerous
Remus/Sirius
PG-13
Swearing, recreational drug use, glimmers of angst, although mainly not. This is purely to give myself a break from the uber angst that is part 2 of my series.
~2300 words
Don't own them, not pretending to

Dangerous

Just relaxin'...

( Read more... )

1 new page apiece up on PP, SNE, and AD.

......I forgot to eat lunch again x_x;

Newsletters, as always, please link to the fics themselves rather than this post. Thanks!

Title: Pieces
Team: Post-Hogwarts
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: explicit sex acts, frottage, handjob, fluff, a dash of clumsy awkwardness.
Summary: A surprise kiss from Sirius re-ignites the spark of hope in Remus. Set Lie Low at Lupin's era.
Prompt: Taurus (April 21 -- May 20): Like a garden that has endured a long winter, your leaves have shrivelled and your stems have withered. But with Venus now in your sign, your zest for life will return and inspire an old and nearly forgotten dream. A revival has begun.
Genre(s): fluff/romance

Read the Fic Here!


Title: Written in the Tea
Team: Team MWPP
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Some allusion to sex.
Summary: In which James pines, Remus and Sirius are unnaturally sappy Peter eats pie and Shakespearean Sonnets are not read aloud.
Prompt: Scorpio (Oct. 24 -- Nov. 22): There is an understandable temptation to complain about a irritating factor in your life, but little will be gained by discussing it. You'll soon discover that your situation is less urgent than you think.
Genre(s): humor/crack, fluff/romance
Credits: Never again will I try to write a humorous fic. Never again. It just wasn't meant to be.

Read the Fic Here!

I get all the best emails.

" From: Ripson Boggioni

Ni hao,


How to turn your ex-girlfriend into a fuck buddy?
Click here

And she committed to him two little notes, one she was afraid
to stop there. The words came out why not, citizen? He is
going to pay the forfeit: ... I think it was edmund swettenham
told me so an eye on you. I can take care of myself. Doc
because i'd funked it! I went along there yesterday mary?
lady brocklehurst. Ah! I understand animals north seems
wholly to have ignored its fleet and varying importance
and interest. How much importance was amiss: i was conscious
of a sudden tension. Lady grayle sleeps late. In the meantime,
i shall first billow of consternation had passed and sunk,
barraclough, quickly 'and now they are so cheap always to
encourage and promote every design which must have existed
from the very dawn of humanity.."

:D

Made two signature-tags or something you can show your support with; sorry, don't really know what's it called. Anyway it are only two and if you want to take them please credit me and upload them on your own space, eh?

Cheers and love for RS.


(Follooooooww... the fake cut.)

It says in the userinfo that I'm allowed to advertise communities specifically related to R/S, sooo... if that rule has changed, feel free to delete this post and I apologize.

I recently created a community caled rs_500. It's a monthly challenge community with fic minimums of 500 words. If I can figure out a way to incorporate art challenges as well, I might, but that'll have to wait until the community is a little bigger than it is now. Every month from the 1st to the 5th players will post challenges as a screened comment (three keywords and one line of dialogue) to that month's sign-up post. I'll distribute the challenges randomly on the 6th, and players post their completed fics from the 25th to the end of the month. There's no obligation to play every month; we're pretty casual and close-knit.

rs_500 has a sister community called hd_500, which is the exact same thing, but for the H/D pairing instead. I only mention it because rs_500 wouldn't exist without hd_500, so I sort of owe it a debt of gratitude.

I hope to see you guys at sometime soon! The first round of sign-ups start on August 1st. Come visit! Stay and play a while!

Apologies if this breaks any rules.

the_red_shoes showed me this. Apparently Utilitarian philosopher Jeremy Bentham asked for his remains to be preserved (in a sense) upon his death (WARNING: don't click if mummified body parts upset you).

This Web site has more information as to the whys and wherefores. Most of the people who have been discussing this are (understandably) grossed out by the entire affair. But I find it thought provoking, sobering and profoundly beautiful. I'm still reading the article linked above so I don't yet know Bentham's full reasons for willing that his body be anatomized and preserved in this way, but whatever his reasons, he left us, the living, a truly wonderful memento mori.

I'm very aware that I'm probably the only person on the planet who sees the auto-icon this way, but I had to share. The auto-icon may soon share the spiritually, emotionally and creatively important place the Kostnice Ossuary now occupies for me.

NB: All comments mentioning that I'm morbid will be met with laughter, as I've never denied this and am rather proud of it, actually :3.

Picture of my new haircut as promised.

Rating: PG-13.
Written for the

linebyline community. The Line in use is "Transient Beauty". 
Contains sensitive subjects, like death.

 

Happy (Utah) Pioneer Day to all my Utah readers, and to all my non-Utah readers.

And for all you nay-sayers who say this holiday is boring, I actually just heard a marching band playing Aerosmith's "Paint it Black." ;)

The parade is amazing this year!

Title: Dandelion Fluff
Rating: PG
Summary: Remus picks a dandelion and makes a wish.
Warnings: Extreme fluffiness. I usually despise useless fluff, but I must have been in a cheesy mood.

Dandelion Fluff

Newsletters, as always, please link to the fics themselves rather than this post. Thanks!

Title: The Love We Hold
Team: Team Post-Hogwarts
Rating: R
Warnings: None.
Summary: Sirius offers a gift for the second time, and Remus does something he's wanted to do for more than a decade.
Prompt: Taurus (April 21 -- May 20): Like a garden that has endured a long winter, your leaves have shrivelled and your stems have withered. But with Venus now in your sign, your zest for life will return and inspire an old and nearly forgotten dream. A revival has begun.
Genre(s): Fluff/Romance

Read the Fic Here!


Title: Starry, Starry Night
Team: Team MWPP
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: language, boysex, drug use
Summary: When Sirius left home, he said he was fine. Was he really?
Prompt: Taurus (April 21 -- May 20): Like a garden that has endured a long winter, your leaves have shrivelled and your stems have withered. But with Venus now in your sign, your zest for life will return and inspire an old and nearly forgotten dream. A revival has begun.
Genre(s): angst, hurt/comfort, fluff/romance
Credits: Major thanks must go to my most excellent betas for going above and beyond. Also to the mods for being so patient and understanding.

Read the Fic Here!

General note:

Getting a quote made does not guarantee you a slot in my schedule. Remember, I don't begin until your deposit is made. At this point in time, yes, I can accept many commissions. BUT, if everyone decides to make deposits at, oh, DECEMBER, then, no, I can't take all those commissions.

In short: First deposited, First served.

Please check with me to see if I can still accept your request BEFORE you make your payment.

Commission info/contact: inquiry@heulangel-designs.net

Melodramatic Heulangel is melodramatic. *headdesk*
(Haruhi: No, I haven't forgotten.)

I have a love/hate relationship (with this quarter).

( In Sum )

...oookay. So it's only COLLECTIONS (the 6-hour class) that's semi-fail.

 Want to see some of the most beautiful art I've ever seen? Just keep clicking on the photo to make it bigger.

Here is the link.


It's a scene from Slackened Ties. 

It is my birthday present!!